Teachers call it cheating; We call it TEAMWORK..;)

I hate it when you hear a song you really like and don`t know the name of it!

Ever notice how 99% of the time, your ex gets uglier after you break up?

Dear facebook, FIRST You take away our Profile boxes, SECOND you make the writing smaller and make us go to specsavers, THIRD you change the homepage, FOURTH, you then force us to change our profile and take our boxxy thing away, FIFTH, you change the chat sound, SIXTH you make the ppicture viewer different and make it slower to load the picture! but really all we want is a friggin dislike button!! Faithly, millions of facebook users.

3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, "we ve arrived".The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him.The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must ve realized that the car did not move an inch.So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us.

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours? SON: At school*Robot slaps Son* SON: OK,I went to the movies. DAD: Which one? SON: Toy Story*Robot slaps son again* SON: OK, it was Day with a Porn Star. DAD: WHAT? When I was your age I did not even know what porn was!*Robot slaps Dad* MOM: HAHA! After all he is your son.*Robot slaps mom*...:P

Dear Mom and Dad, Please dont freak out if I dont answer my phone the first time. The chances of the battery being dead are much greater than the chances that I have been abducted and murdered by a serial killer. Sincerely, 35 missed calls.

You Are The First Thing I Think About When I Wake Up Just Thinking Of You Put The Biggest Smiles On My Face Every Love Song I Listen To I Think Of You I Will Do Anything In This World For You Coz You Are My World N Everything, Baby I Love You!

Girl: do u like me? Boy: no. Girl: am i cute. Boy: no. Girl: would u cry if i left. Boy: no. Girl: ok (she leaves) Boy: (grabs her arm) wait.. i dont like u i luv u ur not cute ur beautiful and if u left i wuld nt cry i wuld die (:

I heard your a player, so let`s play a game.Let`s sweet talk.Let`s play fight.Let`s talk 24/7.Let`s tell each other good morning and goodnight every day.Let`s take walks together.Let`s give each other nicknames.Let`s hangout with each others` friends.Let`s go on dates.Let`s talk on the phone all night long.Let`s hold each other.Let`s kiss and hug.And whoever falls in love first...Loses.

Dear Parents, I stay up late, fall out with friends, have a messy room, literally LIVE on my lap=top, I`m lazy, and I`m ALWAYS texting. Though mum, dad, I`m NOT the only teenager that acts like that. I am just a TYPICAL teenager. So don`t think your doing anything wrong, because your not. To be honest, if I WASN`T doing any of these, things, THEN you should be worried. Sincerely, Teenagers everywhere.

That awkward moment when you sleep at your friends house and wake up before them, and all u can do is stare round their room for an hour or 2 until they wakeup .....

girl : how will you feel, if i hug my male friend ?? boy : i wil be very very happy !! :) girl : shockingly !! :O why ?? boy : because that will make you sure, that what you feel in my arms you cant feel it anywhere else !! ♥

DAD: What can you do for my daughter? BF: I`d die for her! DAD: I don`t like you. BF: Why? DAD: I`m looking for someone who would live for her, not someone who would just die and leave her alone.

Dear Phone, Maybe if you didn`t light up so many damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn`t have died so quickly!

THAT KICK-ASSS MOMENT WHEN THE TEACHER CALLS ON YOU BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT YOU WEREN`T PAYING ATTENTION AND YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION RIGHT...B!TCH

I love when a song describes exactly how you feel. ♫

depressed? earrphones in.. volume up, ignore the world.

Behind every just joking is a little truth.

Facebook needs a B!tch Slap Instead of a Poke Button !!!

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

Hey, only my best friend can talk to me like that!

I absolutely LOVE hearing somebody lying, when I already know the truth.

Do me a favour?... Stay in my life ♥

Isn`t its funny...... how sitting "boy girl boy girl" used to be a punishment... :)

Like if you have a bestfriend that you love..♥

When my phone virbrates in class I cough so the teacher doesn`t hear it.

Awkward eye contact with people in cars next to you at red lights. .:O

Pretending to text or listen to your ipod to avoid awkward situations ...

I may look calm, but in my head, I have killed you many times..

I hate waking up, right when my dream is getting better & better.

I am fluent in three languages English, Sarcasm, and Profanity. .

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

I love when i drop my ipod and my headphone save its life (:

I love it when someones laugh is funnier than the joke. .

Hi can I help you? No I just waited in line for 15 minutes to say Hi. .:P

I am not hiding anything, but stop looking at my phone while I am texting..(:

"you dont want to study, dont come to school" *sure go convince my parents*

That Mini Heart attack when you miss a step on the stairs!

& the toast said to the toaster "just gonna stand there and watch me burn" :)

I hate it when my friends add my other friends, who they dont know!

sitting in a exam and all you can think of is song lyrics. . .

I don`t have bad handwriting. I have my own Font.

"did u get a haircut?" "no it grew shorter" :O

When i was little i used to close the fridge door really slowly just to see when the light went out :)

"Are you free tomorrow?" No, i`m expensive.

Teacher: John, If u hav 12 chocalates & u giv 5 to DONA, 3 to ALICE & 4 to ROMA then wat will u get? JOHN: 3 new Girlfriends..;)

Once you start to dislike someone. Everything they do begins to annoy you.

the teacher puts 2x + 5x2 ÷ =8 + 21a on the board and tells me, *solve the problem*... i get up, and erase the board, problem solved b!tch!

Delete from Facebook: Done ? Delete from Msn: Done ? Delete from cell phone: Done ? Delete from the Heart: Error ???

Welcome to Facebook!! how would you like to waste your time today? :D

Like this if the first thing you think when you wake up is "where is my phone?!"

It was just a dream... Dammit!

I get mini heart attacks if I dont feel my phone in my pocket.

After Monday and Tuesday even the calender says W T F.

I clapped because it finished, not because i liked it..

S.T.U.D.Y = Sleeping, Talking, Unlimited Texting, Dreaming, Yawning...:P

I Wish I Could Record My Dreams and Watch Them Later....;)

Texting short because your mad at the person but don`t want to stop texting them...

Say "Alpha" and "Q", repeat fast. Like if you get it ;)

I Asked my heart:" Why cnt I sleep at night" ???.... My heart said :Cause u slept in afternoon..dont act like ur in love all the time..

WTF = Welcome To Facebook

Like if you are in a long-term poke war. (:

I`m not insulting you. I`m just describing you..:P

Your future depends on your dreams So go to sleep !!!

Don`t Trust Your Heart, B`coz It Is Not On The Right Side...:(

Can you do anything that other people can`t? Sure, I can read my handwriting....:P

Makeup can make you look pretty on the outside but it won`t help if you`re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup...LOL

If money grew on trees. Girls wouldn`t mind dating monkeys.

sometimes i pretend to be normal .But it gets boring So i go back to be me ♥

where`s the remote? OMG WHERE`S THE REMOTE?! MOOOOOMMMMM! WHERE`D YOU PUT THE REMOTE?! I CAN`T FIND THE REMOTE! *stands up* oh.. nvm.. I found it :S

If you want to be TOGETHER you have TO-GET-HER :)

we argue & fight, but i never want to lose you.

Never Say Never? Always Say Always? How about; Sometimes Say Sometimes.

1day facebook youtube,myspace & friendster will come together as one.it will be called, f**kyoumyfriend

"Mom, whos God?" "God is not male not female not black, not white & loves kids" "oh Micheal Jackson!"..LOL

My Silence doesnt always mean YES. Sometimes, it means LOADING..."

tRUE LOve causes onLY paIN PAIN PAIN ....... so apply FAKENESS.. LOL

YOU: Oh he`s cute!.. FRIEND: Hahahahahaha.. YOU:What?.. FRIEND: That`s my cousin!.. BOTH: bahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I`m the girl your ex will hate, your mother will love, and the girl you`ll want to be with forever ♥

Dear McDonalds. i don`t know how to say this, but.. GET THOSE F*CKING PICKELS OUT OF THE BURGERS!!!!!

i feel bad for the kids these days....their cartoons SUCK :/

"I failed!" "Me too!!" "HIGH FIVE!"

When are you finally going to realize that I actually REALLY care about you? :(

"Do you behave like this at home?!" Yes, actually...

when you hear a loud noise in the middle of the night you ether jump under your covers or you try to stop yourself from breathing to listen

i hate when someone step on my shoes and they say i am sorry and i have to say it is ok!!!

Isn`t it funny how every year we say it`s a new start but it never is?

once u like something u cant stop likeing other likes..

That awkward moment, when someone asks "who do you like?"

when you have a inside joke with you friend and no one has a clue what your talkin bout.

singing to yourself then realising someones listening :/

i.f.y.o.u.w.a.s.t.e.d.y.o.u.r.t.i.m.e.r.e.a.d.i.n. g.t.h.i.s.y.o.u.a.r.e.a.w.s.o.m.e

"You ask" "no you ask" "will you pleeeease ask?" "why can't you just ask?" "fineeee... can we have some ketchup?"

that was homework? fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Dear teacher, I talk no matter where I am. Moving my seat will not help.♥

I really can fly, i just don`t do it in public..;)

"why didn`t u answer my call?!" "Cuz i was dancing to my ringtone!"

WTF = Where`s the food?

I`m not weird, I`m limited edition.

what homework!?........QUICK GET ME A PEN!!

It`s not official until it`s on facebook..:)

That`s it m logging out now. Oh look, a notification!

Study ... break .... study .... break ... Study .... break ... break ... break ...

If you want to be TOGETHER you have TO-GET-HER :)

"OMG our house is on fire!!" "OMG!!Hold on I need to update my facebook status!!!"

Dear math grow up and solve ur own problems :)

Yes I am going to steal all of your likes! :)

I hate it when people say "New year, New me, Gonna change everything" When obviously they DON`T change at all!! & Really there NOT new at all..

I remember when my bestfriend was the shy and quiet one... I created him a monster:D

Username OR Password Incorrect" You couldn`t just tell me which one?