Saturday, April 30, 2011

♥ Girl: I hate it when you act like I don`t mean anything to you.♥ :/ ♥ Boy: and I hate it when you act like you don`t know that you mean everything to me.♥ :/Girl:♥♥

Do you speak English? -Yes -Name? -Adolf Bumin. -Sex? -3 to 5 times a week. -No, I mean..male/female? -Yes, male,female and sometimes camels. -Holy cow! -Yes, cows, sheep...Animals in general. -Oh dear, -No, deer runs too fast.:O

Some teens are out having s*x, partying, doing drugs, drinking, but like this if your the teen at home, on facebook, listening to your ipod, sleeping.. :(

Boys are Stronger Than Girls? Please... -Can you blєєd for a week and survive? -Can you squeeze 14 inch baby from a 9 centimeter hole?- Can you carry a 7 pound baby in your stomach for 9 months?- Can you take care of a child, cook, clean, and talk on the phone at once? -Can you carry 10 8 pound s.h.o.p.p.i.n.g b.a.g.s?- Can you go a [[week]] only eating [[salad]]? -Can you --->face heartbreak?- Can you watch the (love of your life) be with someone else? -Can you burn your forehead with a straightener and not complain? -Can you wear a thin piece of s t r i n g in your a s s all day?- Can you walk all day in 4 inch stilletos? -Can you cry all night then wake up the next morning like everythings okay?- Didn`t Think So!!

To all the users of Facebook: 1. Women, we do not wan`t to see a profile picture of you making out with your boyfriend, it`s disgusting. 2. Men, we know, your girlfriend is extremely hot, stop bragging about it or i`ll rip your balls off.. :O

Thursday, April 28, 2011

*A boy walks into his room and finds a note on his bed, It says: Dear teenage boy, I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can. Signed, A *spider!!!*

There are two men. One`s name is John and the other`s name is Bill John came to Bill`s house one day but Bill wasn`t there only his wife was. John said to her "I`ll give you $100 if you let me touch one of your b00b" She said okay. John said to her again "I`ll give you $100 if you let me touch your other b00b" She said okay. John left. Later that day Bill came back from work and asked his wife "Hey, did John give you the $200 he owed me? Wife: ..... :O

Teacher:what is the answer to question 2 ? Student: Umm Kid behind him (whispers): 56 Student: 56 Teacher: (suprised) well done thats right Student: thanks Teacher: could you explain how you worked it out to the class please. Student: Umm.................................................................................Like If This Has Ever Happened To You :L

A kid walking down the street see`s the word "F*cked" He goes home and asks his mum what f*cked means, She says "It means Getting Dressed dear" Then he goes outside and someone yells "Sh!t" He goes home and asks his mum what sh!t means, She says "It means Food dear" Then dad comes home and says: Dad: "Hey son" Kid: "Hey dad, the sh!t`s on the table and mums upstairs getting f*cked" Like if you get it ;)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

I`ll Watch You Like A Movie. Sing You Like A Song. Read You Like A Story, If It Takes Me All Night Long. Keep You Like A Secret. Tell You Like A Joke. Its True, Its True. That I Love You Like I Always Do... ♥ ♥

i do a lot of things before I fall asleep -Play scenes in my head -Have endless `What Ifs` -PRACTICE THINGS I WANT TO SAY -make plans for the next day -and ask myself a lot of questions? Like if you too do the same.. !!!

I do a lot of things before I fall asleep -Play scenes in my head -Have endless `What Ifs` -PRACTICE THINGS I WANT TO SAY -make plans for the next day -and ask myself a lot of questions?

A kid`s 12 wishes: 1st grade: school to be gone 2nd grade: omg she`s gross get her away from me 3rd grade: to be famous 4th grade: i want a phone! 5th grade: megan fox will be my future wife 6th grade: to be in junior high already.. 7th grade: to date that "special someone" 8th grade: to get my phone back from parents... 9th grade: I WANT TO DRIVE! 10th grade: i want a car! 11th grade: i screwed up big time ... D: i want her back 12th grade: school .... please..... save.... me...... 5 years later: wow time flew by fast. I WANNA BE 5 AGAIN

I actually want to be... -kissed in the rain.- held when i cry.- his first text message. -grabbed around the waist and kissed on the cheek.- my hand held by his hand. -told he loves me when he really means it.- this first thing he thinks of when he wakes up, -and the last thing on his mind when he goes to sleep. IM NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, BUT YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, SO IT WOULDN`T HURT..♥♥

Im quite aware you are staring at me, but im pretending not to notice..:P

3 am phone call..“hey are you asleep??” ....“No I`m Skydiving”..

I know ur online and i wanna talk to you but I am not gonna say "hi" first!

AS I worked my lips down my wife`s arm, kissing every bit of it I said, "Darling, if I had the rest of time with you, I`d spend it kissing every square inch of your body." She smiled and said, "Aah, because you love me so much...?" "No, because that`s how long it would take." :P

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Imagine if all retailers started making their own condoms & kept their own name... Tesco Condoms "Every Little Helps" Nike Condoms "Just do it" Peugeot Condoms "The Ride of your Life" KFC Condoms "Finger Lickin` Good" Pringles Condoms "You Pop You Can`t Stop" Burger King Condoms "Home of the Whopper" Andrex Condoms "Soft Strong & Very Long" Mcdonald`s Condoms "Im Lovin` it" Polo Condoms "The One With The Hole.." OH F*CK!

Boys say gettin kicked in the balls hurts more, but we get period pains whether we like it or not, they only get it when they are being d*cks, so its all their fault;

A man and a wife get a new computer. They get to the point when they have to decide on a password. The man types in "mypen¡s" and the woman falls over laughing when an error message pops up and says "Error. Not long enough"

Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its not what you Think ...its a Teabag xD