How come when your wife`s pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy & say congratulations! But nobody rubs your balls and says good job! !! :P

One day I will hit you so hard, even GOOGLE won`t be able to find you...

Does anyone else do this during class: 1. peel your nail polish off 2. search your hair for split ends 3. check the clock every 5 seconds 4. draw hearts on your paper 5. draw smiley faces on your hand 6. secretly eat because your starving I hope I`m not the only one..

Teacher: Did you do your homework..?? Student: Did you grade my tests..?? Teacher: I have other student"s tests to grade.. Student: I have other teacher"s homework to do :P

Boy : Want to hear a joke? Girl : Sure. Boy : Knock knock. Girl : Who`s there? Boy : Marry. Girl : Marry who? Boy : Marry me. Girl: Omg! Yes! Boy: What? Girl: you asked me to marry you... Boy: Didnt i tell you it was a joke? Girl: Oh...

To avoid condom related accidents, use 2 condoms with chilli powder in between them. If the outer one breaks, she will know & if the inner one breaks, you will know! Like if you get it

7 signs your falling in love* 7. You`ll read their txts over and over again 6. You`ll walk really really slow while youre with them 5. They becomes all you think about 4. You`ll get high just by their smell 3. You`ll realize that you`re always smiling, when you think about them 2. You`ll do anything for them 1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time