5 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parent is taking their sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of shoes and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 5. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"