Dear V*giηa, I am requesting a pay due to the following reasons; 1. I do a lot of physical labour. 2. I work at great depths. 3. I plunge head first into everything that I do. 4. I work weekdays & nights, weekends and holidays. 5. I work in damp, dark and enclosed spaces. 6. My work makes me very prone to diseases. Regards, P*ηis. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear P*ηis, After long consideration, I am going to decline your request for a pay rise for the following reasons; 1. Your shifts only ever seem to be about 10 minutes long 2. You fall asleep after each shift. 3. You always have to be stimulated, you never seem to be self motivated. 4. You are unable to work overtime or double shifts. 5. You work place is always messy at the end of your shift. 6. You have been constantly been seen entering and exiting the work place with to small, suspicious looking bags. Regards, V*giηa